This School Years Expectations.

Yeah. So I was thinking alot today about the new school year starting. And even though I usually have really high expectations, that almost always never come through. I think this year will be different. I think its because its eight grade year, so its supposed to be fun. So let me tell you some of my expectations this year;

I'll get really amazing grades. Hopefully straight A's, but we'll see.

I'll win class president, and make this year amazing. Or atleast something on the student council.
I'll be head of the yearbook club, and the yearbooks will look great. And everyone will thank me.

That me and Nick will be 'the' couple of the year.

~~~~~~Okay so for as long as I've been in the 'big kids' hall, there has been a 'the couple' every year; two years ago it was Jevon & Shibon [well, Michael & shelece, but its not the same], and last year it was Devynn & Anthony. And I want to continue the chain[?] And plus, it will be fun. But even though Nick asked me to go out with him, and I said yes, we haven't gone out or anything close to that. So I'm not even sure if he meant it or not. I'll have to ask him or something....am I sensing a pattern here? Like when we 'went out' but not really before? I don't know. Hopefully we'll be different this time. Everyone deserves a second chance, right? It will be amazing if we are.~~~~~~

I think I'll finish my list later, I'm pretty tired.

peace.

jordana.

The dentist.

sorry. sorry. sorry. I haven't written anything on here for like a week. The internet at my house was broken all this past weekend. And since its been back, I've been quite lazy and have barely been on the computer.

Today was pretty not good. I had to go to the dentist at twelve thirty. She said I had two cavities a week or so ago. I had a really big cavity on the right side of my mouth and a smaller one on the left. She could only numb the right side, so she did the left first. And it hurt really really badly. It was only for a second, but still. And then i started crying alittle cause i was worried it would hurt more. (I was totally PMSing) The whole thing was only like thirty minutes but whatever.

So right now my jaw hurts when I open my mouth too much. But the numbness went away while I was taking a nap. After my nap I went with my mom to the mall...parking lot to pick up my sister. She goes to the mall every week, but she never buys anything. Its upsetting me, because it wastes alot of gas and gas is expensive. well those last two sentences were totally bogus.

Yesterday I was watching The Secret Life of the American Teenager, which is one of my favourite shows, and my other sister came and watched it with me. I was upset alittle because this was always my time to myself. And she was making fun of it and talking through the whole thing, especially the dramatic parts. And I was really upset because it was one of the best episodes yet, and I couldn't fully enjoy it.

peace.

jordana.

I think my friend has MANOREXIA!

Okay. So I'm really worried about my friend. I think he might have an eating disorder. At the end of this past school year he weighed 124 pounds, and now he told me he only weighs 80 pounds! And that's seriously scaring me. When we talk on AIM he is always saying how hungry he is, and how he hasn't eaten for days. I want to talk to him, in person. That makes more sense to me than on AIM or even on the phone. I'm afraid that if I don't talk to him soon, it might be too late. I'm also worried that he might not think he has an eating disorder, because eating disorders are stereotyped as a "women's disorder." I feel that I can help him with this problem, hopefully. But what if this is what my dream from the other day was trying to tell me, that I'm not the best to help. But I can't just sit here and watch him starve himself to death. Yes, its true, people can die from eating disorders if they go untreated, or in men's cases, undiagnosed. I don't know what I'm doing, when I'm on AIM I told him I think I might have an eating disorder. I have no idea what I was thinking when I did that. I think I'm gonna ask him if we can hang out next time he's on AIM. Then we can talk, and sort things out. I need to help him, if I don't....I just don't know what I'm gonna do. I'm worried, really truly worried.

OH MY GOD! I'm such a freaking jerk! I just had the worst thought ever. I was thinking that if he doesn't come to school or something because of his eating disorder, then I'll be the smartest in the class. I quickly shook that from my mind. I'd rather have him healthy and graduate second, then have him sick and *gulp* dying and graduate first. Sorta. Ohmygod! I'm such a dirtball! I can't believe my brain is even capable of thinking such horrible thoughts. I took that horrible thought back the second I thought it. I really just don't know what to do if he doesn't want to talk. I can't just sit here while he starves himself to death.


help.
jordana ♪

Another dream I had. Safe For Now painting.

Okay. So I know I already blogged once today, but I'm pretty sure there's no rule that says I can't blog again. Yeah. So I was tired so I fell asleep on the couch. And I had this weird dream. This girl i know, Janee, was IMing me. She was telling me that Ms. P (well technically Mrs. D, our math teacher & her cheer coach) told her to help her with something. I was supposed to help her configure her wireless connection, but she didn't say that. She just said the 'twwqwwsit' or something, and somehow I knew exactly what she was talking about. And so I was trying to help her, but there were floating youtube videos flying all around and it was apparently really distracting. So to make them go away I had to poke them in number order. And I got most of them before I woke up. Well actually before I was woken up by my mom. Unlike my dream last night (see previous blog entry) this had no real obvious meaning behind it. I think I'll look it up on a dream interpretation site or something. hold on.
........................................................

Okay. So this is what I figured out. I think that I try hard to help people when they need it, but in the end I fail. I think the videos are a sign that I am distracted or overwhelmed. I think I had this dream because I was trying to start an advice website, but this dream is trying to show me that I'm not the best advice giver. Oh well.







I found this amazing painting by The Butcher (the drummer for The Academy Is...) and I thought it was totally amazing. Its called Safe For Now. I thought that was a really cool title. And I really want it. I think it would be a great inspiration to me. Even though I can sense inappropriate undertones, I'm mature enough to look past those. And maybe I just have a dirty mind, but I don't. Anyway, I'm completely in love with this painting. It would be so cool if I owned it, because someone from my all time favorite band made it. Even if he didn't make it, I'd still want it. But the only way I can get it is if i go to TAI's merch table/tent thing at Warped Tour, and right now I'm not going. I have no one to go with. But then again, I haven't asked anyone if they wanted to go. And even if I was going, someone is probably gonna buy it before I even get a chance to see it. The date that its in New Jersey is July 28 and that's like in ten days. But I want it.


peace.
jordana ♪

I couldn't sleep last night. Concert dream.

Okay. So. I couldn't sleep at all last night. I seriously was up until maybe 5am. I was pretty upset that i didn't get to sleep until then because I really wanted to have a good sleep in my new bed. But it was really really hot. So i was on the computer until almost 3am. Then I watched TV for a while. I watched this documentary thing (well it wasn't really a documentary but i don't know what you would call it.) Hold on let me google it.

....................

Okay so turns out it is a documentary. It's called Painted Babies. It was made in 1995 (the year i was born :{D) And its about these two 5 year old girls, Brooke and Asia, who compete in beauty pageants. I thought it was cute and all 90's and stuff. Yeah, so I watched that and it was an hour. After that I started to watch a movie on LMN (Lifetime Movie Network) and i think it was called Dieing to Perfect or something. It was about this lady who was trying to balance training for the Olympics, law school, a love life, and bulimia. I'm always drawn to movies where the people have eating disorders or cut themselves and stuff like that. I don't know why. Maybe because the drama in those movies seem so real, even if they have horrible actors, you can relate. Like that could happen to you, that could be you right there, in that situation. But at the same time it shows you the problems that come with them, so it doesn't happen to you. But back to my life. So after watching about an hour and a half. But since it started at 4am, it was ending at 6am. And I wasn't gonna be going to sleep at 6am. So i went to sleep at like 5:30am.

I had a dream that I went to a The Academy Is... concert. But it was weird because it wasn't a real venue, it was like a weird bar or something. I went to go get my bag that I left in a different room and when I got it some Mexican guys were saying something about you can't go in that room for 48 hours. But in the end The Academy Is... weren't there. I can see why I had this dream. Because yesterday I found out that The Rocket Summer and Phantom Planet were having a tour and I want to go, so that explains the concert part. And I'm not supposed to sit on my bed of like 48 hours, but i forget why.

peace.
jordana ♪

My first blog. New bed.

I'm typing this first blog on my new bed! New bed, new blog. It works. Not really. The real reason I got this blog is because William Beckett has a blog. Yeah. So back to my new bed. I guess its nothing special. But the mattress is one of those memory foam ones. its comfy. I was having some trouble at first putting it together. Part of the headboard was bent/dented right where the leg had to go. But my dad came and fixed it, well it kinda got messed up a bit but its better than nothing. So right now I'm sitting on my new bed with Vinnie, my pet alligator next to me & we're listening to music. He's actually not a real alligator. Here's a picture of his second cousin whos a model.

Vinnie isn't as tan as him, and he's cuter.

Okay what else to talk about....umm.

okay. so this picture is so cool.

I love that.

okay yeah. so. i guess that wraps up my first blog. yup. so maybe i'll post another later tonight or tomorrow (well it will pro'lly be tomorrow because its like 11:58pm now)

peace.

jordana ♪